


Collect Caller

by MLMDarkFiction



Category: Herbert West - Reanimator - H. P. Lovecraft
Genre: Break Up, Break Up Talk, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Panic Attacks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-22
Updated: 2020-10-22
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:28:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 507
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27151114
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MLMDarkFiction/pseuds/MLMDarkFiction
Summary: If someone doesn't make it clear they love you, it's fair to assume they don't.
Relationships: Herbert West (Re-Animator)/Original Male Character(s)
Kudos: 4





	Collect Caller

_ “I just don’t think this long distance thing is working, Herbert.” _

He doesn’t know what to think when West says those words, it was as if for the first time in his life, Herbert’s mind went completely blank, blind sided by the statement. 

Somehow he both knew exactly what West meant, and was also completely ignorant. 

They’d been friends since they were children. Their relationship less a tactile romance, and more some natural sliding of pieces into place, and now…

_ “Maybe once you’re home...or something.” _

His fists clench impossibly tight, the blunts of his nails digging into the flesh of his palm. He could have stayed in the states, he **would** have stayed in the states. All West had to do was ask. Herbert would go home right now if that’s what West wanted. 

A building panic takes his heart, holding it in a vice. 

He feels like he’s going to throw up. 

Is this what a panic attack is?

“What do you mean, West?” His voice, for all his effort, completely conveys the emotional rollercoaster he’s going through, hands shaking as he grips the phone's receiver.

_ “It’s…It’s not important.” _

But it is! It so clearly is, if West is doing this, Herbert wants to yell and demand answers, but he can’t. He can barely speak around the lump in his throat. 

_ “Just focus on your research, okay? If you really want, I’ll always be here when you come back.” _

Herbert doesn’t get a rebuttal, doesn’t get a chance to beg West to just tell him what’s going on, or to ask why he’s saying these things, because the other man’s already hung up the phone. 

He claws at his neck, just barely able to remove the first button of his collar through his panic, feeling instant relief as more air rushes to his starving lungs. 

West was one of few, if not the only, thing in Herbert’s life that had ever been consistent. He was something Herbert needed. Being so far away, here in Switzerland it was hell on him too, but West said that was something he could handle. 

If not the distance then what? 

Him? 

It had to be. That’s what these things always came down to. Never with West, but with all other social interaction. Herbert was always doing something wrong, and he never cared, not before, because all those other people weren’t West.

But this is West, and he’s in love with him. 

He’d been more sucked up in work then he’d ever been back home, Dr.Gruber was a wonderful teacher, and throwing himself entirely into his research was a great way to avoid thinking about the lack of West’s presence. 

Maybe it had caused him to miss a few calls from his boyfriend.

Maybe he’d forgotten to call himself. 

  
  


“...”

Even Herbert can’t justify it to himself. 

He’s treated West horribly. 

Really he deserves this, if not worse. But it’s West. West has always been nicer to him than Herbert had ever deserved. 

He’ll call tomorrow. 

He’ll apologize tomorrow. 


End file.
